Friday, March 15, 2024

"Lakefront Empire" Review S1 E1

"The Midwest Coast"


 I just watched the first episode of HGTV's "Lakefront Empire". While I'm pleased the producers seem to be avoiding the same formula as shows that feature more interpersonal drama then home listings, I was quite disappointed in how The Lake area was being presented. Yes, I use capital letters when referring to The Lake, because it is THE BEST LAKE IN THE WORLD.

The show follows the somewhat tired formula of interviewing buyers and realtors as they search for the home of their dreams here at the Lake of the Ozarks, but the producers seem to lack any real sense of what makes The Lake so special. This is clear in their choice of realtors and the homes showcased, both realtors and homes lacked any charm whatsoever. I've have seen many, many homes over the decades and what was shown in the first episode, ranging from $500K to $2M were homes I would not have given a second glance. Not they they were bad homes! Far from it, but they were not especially appealing, charming, or unique. In my opinion The Lake has a plethora of more interesting and exciting homes to choose from at any given time. I actually felt sorry for the folks about to drop $2 million on a home that was simply...blah.

That's the good part of this review.

Here's the bad part.

What the hell? I saw a real estate agent telling potential buyers that mentioned having parties in their new home about "everybody using" in Party Cove, and practically in the same breath as telling them she spent 15 years in federal prison? I watched a second realtor revealing a drunken past and had to come "crawling" back to his family for a job? THESE are the realtors that the producers chose to showcase homes at The Lake? I'm sorry but if I was a potential Lake Ozark home buyer , I would have been turned off completely.

And did I hear anything more than the tired old "1100 miles of shoreline, more than the coast of California" to tell the world how special our lake really is? There was bragging about how nearly every home comes with a dock, but was anything said about the quality of that 1100 mile shoreline or how it affects their docks and the value of a home? How about the uniqueness of The Lake that allows us to have restaurants and bars accessible by water? From what I saw, you might as well have been looking at lakefront property on Lake Hamilton AR, or some Corps of Engineers lake.

Dis-Honorable mention for using segue shots of the lake that make it look like boaters will have it all to themselves on any given day. But now I'm just being mean.

Hopefully future episodes will do better.